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The Things I Want…

4 Jan

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My life as of late has been one series of misfortuneate events after another.  Just when I thing I’m on point, something comes in and kicks me in the shin.  Considering I’m five feet tall, it’s pretty impressive that life can get low enough to reach my damn shins. I find it catastrophically wrong that I can have such karmic retribution. Yes, I am aware I’m inventing words as I go.

My whole life has been unorthodox.  I was raised by parents too young to have children who battled their own demons. I procreated with two men unable and/or unwilling to assist in the day to day livelihood of their children. Then I overcompensated for their failures, by overindulging my children in the hopes their need for therapy would be lessened.

So far, to show for my disregard for conventional parenting, I’m knees to elbows in angst and disrespect. I just love knowing that each and every day, I’m busting my butt for a life I can barely tolerate. All of the things I want to do, or achieve, will never see the light of day as long as I continue to be a mute bystander in my own life.

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So, here are a list of things I want to do before I die.

– I want to learn to play a musical instrument. 
– I want to walk down the aisle in a red wedding dress with red rose petals on the ground.
– I want to go to New Orleans and play tourist.
– I want to take a boat out on the ocean and swim with dolphins.
– I want to spend an entire summer visiting amusement parks every weekend.
– I want to drive a car, on a race track as fast as I can.
– I want to build something sustaining with my owm two hands.
– I want to give a motivational speech in front of a large group of people.
– I want to write every day.
– I want to fall in love without listing their flaws in my mind every time we speak.
– I want someone to love me, and set me as their priority.

One day, I will have a life of my own.

Xoxox Kristy

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