Archive | December, 2014

30 Day Torture Challenge

19 Dec

I read a pinterest thing a moment ago that stated: Nothing feels better than a finished workout. Let me tell you something about that absurd statement. I spent 20 minutes doing sit-ups, crunches, leg lifts, and planking. Want to know how I felt about finishing a workout? Sweaty, breathless, uncoordinated, achy, and fat. If I’m going to have all of those  feelings and emotions, I’d rather be having sex, at least then you get an orgasm out of the deal. If all exercise ended in a mind blowing orgasm, the entire planet would work out hourly. It’s all the build up – but no reward. Now you can tell me that it’s its own reward or some nonsense like that, but I’m here to tell you, to an overweight person, it’s not. exercise

My friend sent me this app for my phone, 30 day fitness challenge. Its easy, user friendly, not too obnoxious. I started this ab challenge. Now mind you, I’m only on day 4, but the fact is, I finished 4 days which is probably a new record for me to exercise four days in a row. I’m going to share an image with you, that you’ll never be able to forget. I’m lying on my back, knees bent, getting ready to do a sit up. Now, I don’t own a sports bra, I’m not sure they make them for boulders. So I’m doing this is a push up bra because I buy my bras based on where they put my girls when I go out. I like them high 😉 This is completely ineffective when you lie down, however. So there I am, trying to do a sit up, my boobs fall right out the bra and into my throat. Is it possible to suffocate yourself from a sit up? Sadly, I’m afraid I’ll find out if I do much more of this.

So, I’m doing these sit ups, unable to breathe because my own body parts are choking me, the dog thinks its hysterical to come over and lick my face. I’m sweaty, red faced, grunting trying to do just one more… then when I finish, I lie on the ground trying to catch my breath. Do I feel good? Um. Heck no, I’m trying to crawl to the shower so I can get ready for work. So, Pinterest lies.

Exercise is torture, bras are the devil, and I am Egor in this body transformation.

xoxo

Kristy