Archive | October, 2014

Running Into Exes

11 Oct

dickfaceLife is one cosmic collision after another just waiting to startle the next dumb schmuck moving along in its existence. I have a love-hate relationship with the men I’ve dated in my lifetime. One, I will probably never speak to again for a long as my heart still beats. The flip side to that is one, I still speak to daily, love him to pieces. For the most part, my relationship with my exes is pretty normal. I hate running into them, I hate the weird reminders of our time together. Most of all, i hate acknowledging that ‘my God’ I make some ridiculous decisions. I mean, really. I dated him. ON PURPOSE?!?!?

What the frack was I thinking. I think this is where so much of my problems with dating comes in. If I can make THOSE choices, how the hell can I trust myself to find one good, non crazy, man? I have this ‘scared to succeed’ mentality. Went the devastation route in the past, already have the souvenirs, and do NOT want more. I know so many women who just would rather be alone than not bother with all this nonsense. I understand the though, even appreciate it, but unlike them, I’m a glutton for punishment.

badchoicesLast week I ran into an ex. Well, I didn’t speak to him, but my children did. He was working at a fair that we went to. Want to know what an asshole I am? My first thought? Oh so you do know how to get a job, fucker. Then it was complete emptiness. I literally couldn’t give two shits where he was concerned. I’ve ran into a few exes and had that level of nothingness. Did I ever love any of them? I don’t think so. I don’t know that i’ve ever truly been in love. Or even if I believe in love. Ex thoughts make me neurotic.

Ever ran into an ex and it wasn’t awkward? I’d love to hear your story.




Vivian of The Light

6 Oct


Meet Vivian:
One of my favorite characters, Vivian, decided she wanted a little bit of attention today. This woman is a debutante in red leather heels who moonlights as a demon assassin. She falls in love with Uriel, an Archangel. Their union creates Madison, one of the lead characters in The Light. Madison had no idea her mother was anything out of the ordinary, let alone a demon.

Parents these days…

(Madison) “This is disturbing. So who is my father? Radcliff, not Andrew,”

(Vivian) “Oh that fumbling boob! I hired him to be your father because statistics show that human children need both a mother and a father. I could have took you to hell for all the therapy bills it cost to raise you.”

(Madison) “I didn’t go to therapy,” Madison said in confusion.

(Vivian) “Not for you, for me! You were the weirdest thing. A child of light and dark. Insane dreams that manifest reality, so self-contained you didn’t need anyone. I never even got to throw you a coming out party!”

You Had A Job?

“You were hunted by an assassin?” Madison asked, her mind hadn’t gone much further than that.
“And then he married her,” Vivian said as she sauntered in the room with a grin on her face.
“You? You are the assassin? But you freaked out when you broke a fingernail cutting tomatoes!” Madison exclaimed.
“They are poison tipped, I couldn’t have you getting sick,” Vivian said.

Mother Daughter Time… in Hell

“Spill.” Her mother did love to get right to the point.
“You spill first,” Madison retorted.
Vivian laughed and shook her head. “No second rate demon is going to screw with my baby girl. I’ve always wanted to raise some hell with you… figured the best place to do it was here.”
Wow. Well, that actually fit in with her agenda. “Can we raise hell and snatch a certain living human from the clutches of a second rate demon?”

Meet Vivian and the rest of her crazy family in The Light by Kristy Denice Bock.




Falling On My Ass

1 Oct

Success-31I’m a goal oriented woman. I enjoy the chase of success just as much as the recognition it usually brings. Secretly I’m still that four year old singing obnoxiously into her hairbrush waiting for mommy or daddy to tell me what a fantastic job I did. Okay, so maybe that’s not true, I’ve never actually needed accolades, and have no idea how to act when I actually get them. This goes both in my work life and my dating life. It’s just weird when people notice.

I took a step back from dating, hence the lack of blogs about insanity in the making. I did this because it was going well. Not the dating, that was a train wreck. The blogging was going well and for some reason being a successful writer is my Achilles heel. When something starts to show signs of success, I pack my bags and go home because there is no stability in writing. Or so I tell myself, even though I know dozens of writers who are actually successful enough at their trade that they have quit their jobs and focus solely on writing.

Part of me knows I’ll never do that. I need to socialization of where I work. I spent at least five years in my living room being dragged out by my best friend, just to see other life forces at Walmart. Home has always been my security blanket, but it is also my self imposed prison. Even now, with the friends I’ve made, and the great experiences I’ve had, I know that if left to my own devices and I worked from home again, I’d never leave my house.

Computer GenerationEverything is an internal fight with me. I know I would be great if I just put myself out there more. If I actually just wrote. I put myself out there at work, and it didn’t kill me. Stability vs unknown, apparently in my head stability wins.

Here is what I would like to do. 2-3 blogs a week. They don’t have to be about dating, I wouldn’t mind featuring authors again, though not the normal blurb and picture hoopla, that’s boring. Author visits – Kristy style. 1 Literary Goddess show every other Sunday afternoon. A daily writing goal of 500 words toward something I’m actually intent on publishing.

Now i don’t know if I’ll accomplish these goals today, next week, or a year from now, but I am going to try.

Oh and I do plan on resuming dating. I need sex in my life.