Single Parent Diary – Absolute Authority

The greatest thing about being a single parent is the absolute authority. There is no one to share the decision making with. There is no one to offer their opinions of how something should, or should not be accomplished.

No… instead I have four. Four unique and willful minds that ultimately feel they have an equal say in everything around them. There is the older, more responsible one, who truly believes that it is perfectly acceptable to wear clothes that add ten years to her age.

Ah, then there is the older middle child. Now this one usually has wonderful insight on how she should be raised. What type of toys should be purchased, what type of food is healthy or unhealthy. Even what type of music is best for the growing mind of a child. I really should to listen to this one occasionally.

The greatest advice though, usually comes from my oldest son. He has taught me so many lessons in life. I don’t know how I survived so far without them. His gems of wayward opinions usually range from which video games are better than others. He also offers insightful wisdom on which delivery place can reach our house faster.  Of course, this is the same child who stole from his mother’s wallet to give to charity. He also called every single person on my caller id list, to tell them I was in the shower. I probably shouldn’t listen to him as much.

I believe the child I listen to the least is that of my youngest son. The baby of my family. Although, to be fair, I don’t think I accept his thoughts of equality because he doesn’t actually believe he has an equal standing with that of his mother. No, not at all. This young willful child believes he’s superior to that of his lowly mother and siblings. He rules supreme in his universe.

Sometimes I often wish I had a two parent household. Lets go beyond the obvious reasons of having a second income, someone to help pay for the damages, someone else to drive all over gods creation for this or that, someone to hold the child’s head while I clean up the remnants of dinner, someone to actually raise there hand and vote with me when I’m more right than the four united little minds.

Someone to remind me that I’m in charge. I’m the boss. I’m the rule making decision maker.

Now that I’m finished dreaming I think I’ll have a cup of coffee.

Writing Challenge, day 1.

After this post, I’ll be updating weekly on Saturday…

 

Since I decided the challenge midway through yesterday I’m trying not to feel guilty about not reaching my 3250 word count goal. With the help of Write or Die, I was able to reach a respectable 2100 words.

With that I finished off chapter four of In Death’s Waiting Room. I keep going back and forth on the title, but that’s what it is for now. Today I’m going to be moderately ambitious, I’ll outline chapter five while I’m working (which will *not* count toward my word count) and then use 2 sets of 48 minutes in the hopes of hitting that 3250. I seem to do better when I write with a purpose instead of flying by the seat of my pants.

I’m aiming for 80,000 words. I’m currently at 16,500.

Both chapters one and two have been received very well through the IWW critique loop, so I’m rather excited.

I’m also almost finished with chapter one of my WIP Wounded Souls. I’m not entirely sure where this one is going to go, so we’ll see.

As I lay in bed last night I was struck by a new story idea. What happens when your best friend does her best to set you up with her ex-husband? Why it breaks the Girlfriend Code of course. We all know how sneaky best friends can be when they see the obvious that you don’t… I’m thinking this has potential. We’ll see.

So there we have it:

In Death’s Waiting Room: 16,500 words, starting Chapter 5.

Wounded Souls: 2500 words, finishing chapter 1.

Girlfriend Code: WIP, thought process.

Yesterday one of my Face Book friends asked me what the rush was. I turn 30 on June 27th. My goal was to write a book by the time I’m 30. I did that with Divine Touch, however, my new goal… established yesterday… was 2 books by 30.

 

I can do it if I stop distracting myself with nonsense.

~KdB

Timed Writing.

Andrea is a fountain of good ideas, I’m so glad we’re friends. This blog is in her honor, because it gave me a wonderful idea. It’s time to put my money where my mouth is. A member of the Internet Writing Workshop whose name is Rick has the best signature I’ve ever seen. It says “The only rule: writers write! Everything else is a guideline.” This is going to be my motto from now until May 31st.

With the help of Write or Die, I’m going to make a commitment to myself to write. Not the half hearted ‘all writing counts’ lie I’ve been selling myself for the past year. I know I can write 1666 words per day thanks to NanoWrimo. So, for my self imposed writing challenge, I’m going to write double that. (almost) I will make a goal of 3250 words per day.

Here’s how I plan on breaking it down so that I’m not overwhelmed. This is also where Write or Die comes in. I read somewhere that writing in 45 minute increments and 15 minutes of goofing off made it easier to stick to two hours of writing. So, I will write in 48 minute increments. (don’t ask me why Write or Die has 48 minute increments, I have no idea) Once in the morning, once after work, and once after the kids go to bed. The threat of deletion of my words freaks me out, so this does actually help.

I vow, to myself and anyone reading this, that I’ll use this at least 5 days a week from now until May 31st. It took me six months to write Divine Touch, for someone who sits on her butt at the computer daily that’s patently ridiculous. I can blow 2 hours a day just reading what other people write on face book or emails. I owe it to myself to take this seriously, I made the choice to try and be an author.

So, here’s the breakdown. 5 weeks… 5 days… 3250 words. Ideally I’ll have written 81,250 words by May 31st. I’ll take off Mondays because they are the worst day of the week to begin with. There you have it, my timed writing personal challenge. If  you’d like to join me, leave a comment, send an email, we can swap stories of how we had to force ourselves to look away from face book, stop reading email, quit reading Perez… etc.

My writing will be atrocious, so I’ll need the following five weeks to edit.

I, Kristy Bock, vow to write at least 3250 words for 5 days a week for the next five weeks because I’m tired of living with my own excuses for not writing. I chose to be a writer, a publisher believe in me enough to publish something I’d written. It’s time to make writing a priority in my life.

Signed,

Kristy Denice Bock.

Write with childlike wonderment.

Yesterday I experienced something that I can’t recall ever doing before. I went to the circus. The whole experience was something that I’ll cherish forever. Watching the faces of my sons light up when the women twirled, the clowns danced and the men bounced on the tightrope, made it a profound experience. Having my four children, sister and one niece sit quietly for two hours… absolutely the best experience I’ve had in a long time.

What is it about places like the circus that capture and hold ones attention so vividly. Is it that first initial hook? In this case the swirling motor bikes in a giant metal ball cage. When my sons saw that, they were stoked and didn’t look away for a moment. Then followed by a man in a hamster wheel that swung around the span of the tent, floor to ceiling. The constant fast beat of the music, his daring, the danger. Every bit was like a choreographed dance until the very end when they shot the man out of a cannon.

That is how I strive to be with my writing. I want to have that level of ability to bring out a childlike wonder in the imagination of the reader. I want to tickle their funny bone and engage them in my world. There are so many wonderful authors out there that do profound, I’m more apt to make you chuckle than think about global warming. And that’s ok. I’ve come to believe that doesn’t mean I’m wasting my talent, it means that I’m using my talent in the way I want to.

 

So, now I want to run away and join the circus. If you don’t hear from me for a while, call Cole Bros Circus.

~KdB

Publishers, Editors, Agents… oh my!!

I don’t think I ever truly realized the depth of research that had to be done *after* the book was written. I’ve made and developed a network of supportive people with a great deal of advice to offer on any aspect of publication. The problem with that is the conflicting advice. It seems everyone has an opinion on every publisher, every editor, every agent.

The thing to do with advice is take it into consideration and discard it completely. A smart friend of mine said submitting is like shoe shopping. (An metaphor that I can really relate to) Why would you shop in the size three aisle when you wear a size 7?) Finding the right fit for your books is vital. It’s a waste of time otherwise, yours and theirs.

For the paranormal romance, I have three books. One completed, One half way finished, and one started. They are all part of the Goddess series that I’ve been working on. They aren’t all that dark, while they find themselves in dangerous situations, they aren’t dangerous. I use a great deal of comic relief and my characters are larger than life… on purpose.

My inspirational writing is more serious, overcoming obstacles to remain true to faith and heart. The short story has found a home, and I couldn’t be more delighted. We’ll see how it does in the coming months. I enjoy the balance writing both creates in me.

When I find a home for the books I will be equally delighted, and quite possibly exhausted. I have researched epublishers, small press publishers, large publishers. I’ve spoken with agents and editors and fellow authors. I’ve read submission pages, and what they were looking for. I’ve spent months researching and keeping notes, reading books by those publishers.

Here’s what I learned:

In the immortal words of Salt n Peppa…

“Opinions are like *ahem* everybody’s got one”

All the research in the world doesn’t take the place of selling a good product. I can’t recommend programs like IWW (Internet Writing Workshop) enough. Get your work critiqued, commented on, read by someone other than your mother.

Google it, you know you want to.

So, I’ve done my research, I’ve read my books, I’ve written and polished, and here I am, writing a blog about it. To let you know the depth of my neurosis, I have 218 book marked publishers, 75 bookmarked agents, and over 1000 networked authors between myspace facebook and twitter.

And I don’t even have a book out  yet.

~KdB

My Goals

As a mother:

To have each one of my delightful children survive childhood with minimal therapy, a well rounded education, scholarships to college because they are screwed if they expect me to pay it.

As a woman:

To lead a healthier life, get a breast reduction, and ride a bike from my house to my parents house 13.5 miles away. While this may seem trivial to some, its oddly important to me.

As a writer:

To be published, duh. Not just published, I want to blow the roof off it. I want to make so much money that I can buy a little house on a big plot of land, a brand new car and write religiously until I go blind, or die. Whichever comes first.

I can too!

It seems as though everyone is writing a book these days. Former President George W Bush thinks that people want to know about his decision making processes. Brett Michaels, you know that rock singer and horrid reality show guy, yes, him. He is going to write about his time with Poison (When he was relevant). The Octomom has a book deal I believe. The hero Pilot guy, Chesley Sullenberger… ok so I actually want to read his book, I won’t use him in this example.

The reality is that anyone can write a book. If you want instant backing, find your fifteen minutes of fame. Wrestlers have written them, sports legends, actors, musicians, politicians, murderers, anyone who has been in the limelight apparently has a get out of slush free card.

I read gossip rags like there’s no tomorrow, I soak up the lives of our rich and infamous. Though, now that I’ve written a novel, I’m seeing things through a different set of eyes. Which isn’t to say that I think those above shouldn’t be writing novels, I just think they are already legends in their own fields, it makes it that much harder to become one in mine. This Literary Goddess (Ha! still can’t) doesn’t want to have to go up against Brett Michaels on the NY Best Sellers List.

Someone wake me up, I’m dreaming again.

I digress, I think I’ve strayed from the point I had. You know whose book I’d like to read? My 12th grade English Teacher, Mrs. Hatch, I can’t think of a person who had a bigger impact on my literary life because she believed in me. To a screwed up teenager, someone genuinely believing in them is a pretty big deal.

I want to read a book about the 68 year old Fireman who retired after saving countless lives, but only remembers the ones he couldn’t save.

We’re flooded with infamy, bad decisions, drugs and sex… Why can’t we write about the Goodness that exists every day? Leave a comment with someone you’d like to see with a book of their life out.

I’ll be at BnN picking up a book that has infamy, bad decisions, drugs and sex, but with a happy ending!

~KdB

Impatiently learning to be patient.

My book is done, it’s book one of a tentative series I called the Divine Ones. The Divine Ones are six Goddess’s who have children that must pass three Trials of Humanity to live as a deity among human mortals. The book I just finished took me six long months to write. To some of you, this isn’t all that long, to others still its. To me, six months is an eternity.

My short story is done, the revisions are done. This short story took me four years to write. I started it one night, so long ago, when I’d just moved into government housing in PA and at a low point when I no longer believed in happily ever after. I wrote it to give one married couple a happy ending, because I just didn’t know any.

It was one year ago today that I got the air mail from Harlequin saying that I didn’t win the contest but that my writing showed promise and that I should submit something more suited to their line. Well, Mills and Boon, not Harlequin. It’s always been my dream to write for Harlequin, not going to lie, I still have that letter framed just because they said my work showed promise. Who frames things like that?

So, now I have a query at Harlequin, revisions at Highland Press, and I’ve thoroughly outlined the second book of the Divine Ones. Then, out of nowhere, comes an idea of four short stories, linked by a disaster (thanks to someone on Facebook), all struggling in their marriage, thinking they need a divorce. The general idea is to write four separate shorts, perhaps having them all go to the same church.

When I get an idea, I can’t think of anything else. I have to think it to death to move on. Life is amusing, just when I think I couldn’t possibly be any more impatient, I find myself consumed with a new tale to tell. When I think of how much time I waste, I need to learn to look at how much I’ve accomplished. In a year’s time, I’ve become a co-host of The Haunt @ PNR (www.paranormalromance.org) I’m a reviewer for the same place. I’ve built my own website, have two blogs, wrote one novel and two short stories (the second one sucked, that’s why it’s not mentioned here)

All this, while being a mother of four rambunctious children and working 48 hour weeks. Just imagine what i could do if I stayed *off* Facebook, myspace, twitter, dlisted, perez and any other time waster that I have.

And yet, as I sit here writing this pat myself on the back blog, I realize that I’m wasting time because I still need to finish 3 reviews, critique a chapter for one person, 3 other’s for another, not to mention that I need to keep up with my word count of 2500 (ha! see previous post)

It’s exhausting being patient!!!

 

~KdB

The ability to waste time.

As writers, we know that our daily goal should be something like 2500 words. Those of us who graduated from the school of NaNoWriMo know that you need 1666 words a day to reach 50k in a month.

According to Write or Die I can write 1700 words in about 45 minutes. So theoretically, to keep in line with a writers daily goal, I should be able to write 2500 words in a little over one hour. That’s it… one hour.

Now, I allot myself four hours a day for writing. Heck, I should be turning out 10,000 words a day. Instead I think I use 3 of house hours on facebook, myspace, the internet, chatting on IM, browsing dating sites because God knows, I need to find a man *insert eye roll here* and now I’m on twitter too!? Those three hours can easily turn to like six, and I’ll find myself staying up late, and waking up early. For what? So people I don’t know can fill me in details of their lives that will ultimately never effect mine.

And I soak it up like a sponge buddy. Tell me your details, let me share your life, so that mine is ‘that much more’ entertaining. For a minute it will make me remember that I don’t have much of one on my own.

Yesterday I wrote 164 words. The day before, I thought I was a super-writer because I wrote 6k ish. I guess if you balance the two together, I’m meeting some type of goal, except I’ll go a week and not write a single word.

For my ‘job’, I’m never late, I don’t shirk my duties, I never call in sick, internet connections and acts of God are the only reason I’ll not be there. And I’ll never get anywhere with this job. It is what it is.

Writing is fun, it’s something I ‘want’ to do. Never mind that I could eventually make more money than being a chat host. I’m learning, I’m goofing off, I’m playing around, and in the end, I’m wasting my time because I’m not being productive. See, I need an old Catholic school Nun editor to smack my hand with a ruler each time I go online when I’m writing.

Actually, all she’d have to do is look at me, I’m a wuss. I’m so non confrontational that I think I’ve never called off work, not because I haven’t needed, or wanted, to, but because I’m scared of my boss.

There you have it, my ability to waste time… How are your time keeping skills?

~KdB

Magazines, shmagazines.

I’ll admit to being young enough to claim the internet era as my own. Just yesterday, I was asked about reading magazines as a means to find out information for new books.

Wait… What? You can find book information from magazines? People do that? What on earth for, when the Internet is at your fingertips. And you paid for this information?? Your mama should have taught you better.

Then my attention was brought toward the closing of a once popular magazine that helped propel the very genre I write for. Another magazine was mentioned as well but I just wasn’t interest. I didn’t even look it up, I’m that lazy.

I don’t know if it’s a personal interest, and that I just don’t like magazines, or if it’s a generational thing and that I’m just missing the appeal of glossy pages with limited information and a bunch of ads that I’ll never care about. I wonder how many people out there would share my opinion on the subject?

“In depth author interviews”

are online.

“Book Reviews”

are online.

“Ratings and excerpts”

are online.

While, I’m sad to see any type of business close down, I don’t see it so much a sign of the economy, as a sign of the times. I doubt my four children have ever read a magazine, but they can google like little champs. No, that’s not true. Every year, at Christmas time, Toys R Us send out their annual toy catalogue, they read that faithfully and circle what they want, namely everything.

I think my overall point is that I’m so used to the instant gratification of the internet, that I can’t imagine having the patience to wait for a magazines publication date, or for it to arrive on my doorstep.

~KdB